Full Circle

The other day my husband and I watched a beautiful scene unfold.  A boy about eight helped his two-year-old sister play on her scooter.  She was determined to ride it no matter what.  He was incredibly kind and patient with her.  Despite the crying and tantrums from her repeated unsuccessful attempts - he remained calm and loving.  As we viewed the interaction we knew that he was modeling the behavior he’d received from their parents.  We also knew that the sister would be just as patient, kind, and loving with her own children one day in the future.

We mimic the behavior we’ve seen and perpetuate the behavior we’ve experienced.

Members of Swayze's Sweethearts:
Ronnye Boone, Deborah Carter,
and Megan Whitlow

I once heard a story about cooking that bolsters the point.  A mother demonstrated how to cook a roast to her daughter.  When she cut a third of the roast off and turned it sideways in the pan before placing it in the oven the daughter asked her why she cut it.  The mother paused for a moment and then picked up the phone. The mom called HER mother and explained the situation.  The grandmother laughed so loudly the granddaughter could hear.  It seems the grandmother’s roasting pan was too small to hold the roast in one piece but it would fit if a section was turned sideways.  The mother had been cooking her roast the same way - even though she had a larger pan.

How many times a day do you take unconscious action based on how your parents, “Cut the roast”?  Do you drive American or foreign?  Do you attend church?  Volunteer?  Yell or sulk when angry?  Do you wear seat belts? Jewelry?  Plaid?  We spend a great deal of our lives, “Cutting the roast”.

When I wash dishes I utilize an order to the process.  First washed are glasses, then silverware, then plates, and finally pots and pans.  There’s a logic to the system - the water is cleanest at the beginning so you wash items from least dirty to dirtiest.  It’s so ingrained I don’t even think about the process until I watch my husband wash dishes in his own way.  Then… I have to consciously remind myself that the outcome is the important thing.

Swayze's Sweethearts Women Build Team on Build Day

Megan is a member of the Swayze’s Sweethearts Women Build Team.  The Sweethearts helped to raise the first wall in Julie Clinkscale’s home in April.  That event was a Roast Cutting moment for Megan because Megan grew up in a Habitat for Humanity home.

Megan’s parents married young and their three children came along shortly.  Megan’s family lived in an older home in Monroe, NC and only one of the rooms had insulation.  During the heat of the North Carolina summer and cold of winter all five family members lived in that one room.  Because the home was so old it exacerbated Megan’s sister’s asthma so she experienced a lot of breathing issues and all three children were often sick during the cold months.

Megan was seven when her family moved into their new Habitat home. She remembers hammering a few nails into the wall during construction. Megan recalls her excitement to have her own bedroom.  Megan remembers the new, clean, smell and how she and her siblings were fascinated by the furnace closet.  She recalls feeling the warmth and love from strangers who simply wanted to help.

Team Leader Kristel Swayze and Megan

As an adult Megan understands that Habitat offers families the opportunity to change their lives.  She appreciates knowing that there are good people in the community who care and who will rally around strangers to help them become homeowners.  Today Megan knows the importance of giving back and is happy to be in a position to do some giving.

One April evening as Megan helped teams of women work as one to raise Julie Clinkscale’s wall she looked over and saw five sets of children’s eyes watching.  Five sets of eyes observed unknown adults setting foundations for their futures, constructing stability, creating possibilities.  Megan’s eyes filled with joy and love because she KNEW what those little girls felt in that moment.   Megan knows first hand what their new home will mean.  And she felt overjoyed to play a role in their future success.

Megan has come full circle.  Today she is a dedicated wife and a mother who has worked in the medical field.  Stability is very important to Megan and she’s willing to sacrifice to provide it to her children.  She’s also willing to work for Julie Clinkscale and her grandchildren.  Megan once stood on a Habitat worksite and watched unknown helpers hammer and sweat.  Now Megan feels blessed to help provide the hand up she is so grateful to have received so many years ago.

We mimic the behavior we’ve seen and perpetuate the behavior we’ve experienced.  Each Habitat workday creates more than a floor or a roof.  It builds love and constructs community that continues and increases with each repetition.  One day those five little girls may continue the legacy and help another family get one day closer to home ownership.

My Women Build Story

What image comes to mind when I think of empowering myself?  Rosie the Riveter!

Rosie the Riveter is an iconic WWII image used to recruit women into the work force.  Since the end of the war, this image has become a symbol of feminine capability.  Today, this image profoundly resonates within me as a symbol of my capabilities.

When I began building my home, I also began building myself!  With every nail I drove and every wall I raised, I built an inner strength housed within the resilience my experience with Habitat was constructing. When selected to represent the 20^th anniversary Habitat Cabarrus Women Build project, I was flooded with emotion. What an honor I thought to myself, attaching the image of a women’s strength to what I saw as my biggest feat.  Obtaining home-ownership and securing a stable life for myself and family would soon be realized through my concerted efforts and those of women leaders throughout my community.

But my Women Build story didn’t begin with the start of Habitat’s 20^th anniversary women build project and it has yet to come to an end!

In high school, I joined a service club for girls called the Juniorettes. It was through this group that I was first introduced to Habitat for Humanity and the Women Build idea. My Juniorette team volunteered to paint the interior of a home that was a Women Build home.

Working on a build as Volunteer Coordinator
with Development Director Katie Page.

Then fast forward to 2009, I was about to graduate from Wingate University and knew I wanted a career that allowed me to serve others. So the school’s career counselor secured me a one-semester internship with the local Habitat for Humanity affiliate.  During my internship I saw firsthand Habitat’s “a hand up, not a hand out” philosophy.  Although brief, during my time with that affiliate I began to learn how Habitat worked and how they changed lives by building people up!

After graduation, I worked long, unpredictable hours for a very low wage trying tirelessly to simply provide for my young daughter.  Despite my best efforts I couldn’t find another job and continued earning drastically less than my degree deceptively lead me to believe I would earn.  I was living in a place that was not safe but couldn’t afford to live anywhere else.   In 2010, a young man I went to high school with was shot because of a bad drug deal outside my apartment as I was unloading my daughter after a long night at work. The very next day I was reintroduced to Habitat, but this time as an applicant.

Since the completion of my home, my life has continued to intertwine with Habitat and Women Build.  In 2013, I was brought on board to serve as the construction assistant to our famous "Bob the builder." Then in 2014, I was offered a position at the affiliate as the volunteer coordinator. The crazy part here is that my assigned supervisor turned out to be one of those strong women leaders who lent a hand on the building of my Women Build home (I am forever grateful Katie Page!). Once again I was overcome with excitement at the opportunity to build myself with the assistance of the strong women I looked up to and to serve alongside these women who had encouraged me during my partnership with Habitat (Shirley Kennerly this includes you too!).

My Women Build story doesn’t end there though... Just recently, February 1^st of 2016 to be exact, my brother passed away from a heroin overdose. I first learned of his addiction about two years ago, around the time I joined Healthy Cabarrus’s Substance Use Coalition. The coalition’s mission is to mobilize community partners to build a healthier community by reducing substance abuse and its effects, particularly among youth. It was through the efforts of this coalition that I learned about Naloxone and its ability to reverse an opioid-induced overdose. Unfortunately, my brother was alone when he overdosed and wasn’t found until long after he had last used. Despite this fact, the administration of Naloxone is what kept him alive long enough to make it to the hospital and for our family to say goodbye. In honor of my brother, my friends and colleagues at the Cabarrus Health Alliance decided to put together a women build team to support our 2016 campaign. And guess what day they requested to come out and build? My birthday! Truly I believe this is God at work.

Romans 8:28 says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

At our St. Patrick's Day Party fundraiser with Shirley Kennerly,
Family Services Coordinator.

I believe I have been called to my purpose, to not only serve the Lord but to serve another family. I get to give back the love and support that was so graciously poured upon me. As each Women Build team continues to grow and the funds to support this build continue to come in I am called to give praise; Praise to God for his unwavering love, Habitat Cabarrus for its continued efforts within my life and my community, and to Julie Clinkscale, the beautifully strong grandmother and caregiver of 5 remarkable young ladies who is working diligently to build her home with the title of this year’s Women Build. I am so excited to see this year’s project kick-off.  Who knows…maybe Rosie the Riveter will come out to support us once again! 

National Volunteer Week Spotlight: Mary Rembert

April 10-16 is National Volunteer Week, which is a great opportunity to recognize the contributions of our generous volunteers, many of whom have been offering both their time and effort for many years.

Shining the Spotlight

One such individual, Mary Rembert, has been volunteering with Habitat for Humanity of Cabarrus County and ReStore Cabarrus since 2005 (when our ReStore originally opened). Mary retired that same year, but her love of working with people drew her to a volunteer opportunity with Habitat where she helped with our Christmas gift wrapping. Soon after, she heard that a ReStore would be opening in the area and was excited to begin volunteering at this location. After a couple of store relocations and over a decade of service, Mary has a longer tenure than almost anyone else at our ReStore and is still just as excited to be volunteering.

“My favorite part about volunteering with ReStore is the people I work with,” she said, citing her love of people as a primary reason she enjoys serving with Habitat.

Brightening the Day of Our Shoppers

Mary works primarily at the checkout register, where she is “consistently friendly, efficient, and has fantastic customer service skills,” said Dale Irvin, General Manager at the ReStore. She volunteers every Tuesday and Thursday, brightening the day of every shopper with her warm, friendly personality. “I can’t imagine the Cabarrus ReStore without Mary Rembert,” Irvin went on to say.

Mary also enjoys hearing customers tell her how nice they think it is shopping at the ReStore. She works hard to keep the store neat and orderly, so when people tell her that they appreciate how tidy the shop is, it makes her feel good. Mary understands what a long way creating a clean workspace can go in creating a great customer experience.

Continuing to Make a Difference

In addition to her volunteer work at ReStore, Mary has kept busy during retirement in other charitable ways. She is a volunteer for both Hospice and her church, doing her best to make an impact in the community.

To learn how you can make a difference with Habitat Cabarrus or ReStore, visit http://www.habitatcabarrus.org/habitat/volunteer/opportunities.

Volunteer Culture Club

Did you know April 10 -16 is National Volunteer Week 2016?

National Volunteer Week recognizes the many people across the U.S. and Canada who share their time and resources to many different causes for the greater good of society as a whole.

My mother used to say that good manners are the glue that bind a society. Granted, she was usually telling me this when she wanted me to learn where various utensils should be placed on the table… but she was right. There are ties that bind us as friends, family, community, and culture. Now I instruct my own kids (with varying degrees of success) about how manners are really about making people comfortable. Individuals fortunate enough to have seen some of the world agree… While culture may determine whether you eat your dinner with a fork, chopsticks, or fingers – the ability to look at the person on the other side of the table and try to make him comfortable is universal.

Society or culture evolves just like animals and humans through time and need. Joseph Henrich for example says human evolution has been greatly dependent on sharing information. Henrich offers the example of cooking. The practice of cooking spread by social learning across our ancestral human populations. “Cooked food’ became a selective force that ultimately shrunk our digestive tracks, teeth, and stomachs. Who knew? If society relies on information to evolve then volunteers keep the info train moving.

I went back down the rabbit hole of research and discovered that volunteering provides another society-binding activity. There’s a great body of work to pull from about why exactly people volunteer but it seems to boil down to two reasons. One is symbolic and says volunteering is a display of values and beliefs through actions. The other is functional and says volunteering provides a match between a person’s psychological needs and particular personality traits.

There’s a third aspect about volunteering that is just beginning to be studied and that is the benefit to the volunteer. People who volunteer regularly are healthier, more alert, and happier than their less philanthropic brethren. In other words - doing good does a person good too.

This past weekend we met a friend of ours at the farmers market. His wife was out-of-town on business and he had the three and one-year-olds to himself. That’s a whole lot of kid with no backup on a weekend day that lacks the structure of the workweek. Just between us – this was not a good time for me to go off on a produce boondoggle. We were very much in the process of moving and I just didn’t think we had anything to offer our friend. But off we went. (Personality trait volunteer maybe?)

We didn’t do a lot, but for a little while he had another adult to talk to and to provide assistance. His kids were entertained by my children while the smells and colors of fresh produce, artisan breads, and newly-picked strawberries kept his kids from whining and arguing. Afterward we all felt energized and happy and it wasn’t completely from the berries. Even in our little microcosm - volunteering was a positive experience.

Habitat for Humanity runs on volunteers. We help families achieve miracles because caring individuals are willing to give their time and talents on construction sites to help strangers achieve the dream of home ownership. Our magnificent volunteers display their values through actions and because they believe in causes bigger than themselves and they recognize an inner need to help others.

National Volunteer Week provides the opportunity to bring awareness to the amazing contributions of volunteers and to encourage more people to donate their time to a local, national, or global cause. It started in Canada during WWII to celebrate women for their part in supporting the war and in the US in 1974. We urge you to take advantage of this week to nominate someone you admire for a volunteering award, share about your favorite cause on social media, and find an opportunity to volunteer yourself with Habitat Cabarrus or another cause that you feel strongly about.

Students from the Performance Learning Center Get Involved with Habitat Cabarrus

On March 4th, a group of high school students from Cabarrus County Schools’ Performance Learning Center came out and worked on a build site with Habitat Cabarrus as part of an out of class learning experience.  The students showed their support for Habitat and the future homeowner by helping us put up siding and performing a variety of other tasks needed in order to build the home.

Performance Learning Center also invited our Volunteer Coordinator, Dyana Bostian, to their school to speak with high schoolers about Habitat for Humanity, homeownership and the finances that come along with owning a home.  The students were very engaged and excited about partnering with Habitat Cabarrus through our various volunteer programs!

We would like to thank all of the students who volunteered with us recently as well as Performance Learning Center and Communities in Schools of Cabarrus County for making this possible.

You can help build a Habitat home too!  No previous experience is needed, just come prepared to learn.  Volunteers with Habitat should be at least 18 years old.  Minors who are 16 or 17 years old must be accompanied by an adult and are limited to certain volunteer activities.

To learn more about volunteering with Habitat Cabarrus, contact Dyana Bostian or visit www.habitatcabarrus.org.

Waynesburg University's Mission

Waynesburg University’s mission is to educate students to “make connections between faith, learning and serving so they might faithfully transform their communities and the world.” In only one week, a group of Waynesburg University students from Waynesburg, Pennsylvania were able to take a foundation of a home and put together its outer layers. They could have been enjoying spring break at the beach, but they preferred giving back to someone they don’t even know, Ms. Candis Grier. We are so grateful for their week of extraordinary service in our community.

Dave Zablotny, Executive Director of Habitat Cabarrus, reflected on Waynesburg University’s week of building by saying, “Collegiate Challenge is such an important program for Habitat Cabarrus. The young people who travel long distances on their spring break to support our affiliate and a family they have never met, mean so much to us. Waynesburg University has now sent a team to build with us for six consecutive years and they have become our Collegiate Challenge “poster children”. This year’s team has been incredible and they have certainly lived up to the standard set by their predecessors. What a great message of hope they bring for the future!”

We would also like to give a special thank you to the Cabarrus County community for being such wonderful hosts for our visitors from afar. St. James Lutheran Church hosted our Waynesburg University volunteers this week while the Cannon Memorial YMCA let them use their showers every night. Lunch was provided by Target, Chick-fil-A Concord Parkway, Burger King, Domino’s Pizza, and Wendy’s. McGill Baptist Church and First Presbyterian Church provided dinner. We cannot thank our community partners enough for helping us take care of our guests this week and to those who will be hosting and feeding our next three Collegiate Challenge groups. 

If you are interested in providing meals or snacks to our Collegiate Challenge teams, please contact Dyana Bostian. Be sure to check back each week to see students from Stockton University, Northwestern University, and Gates County High School continue the 2016 Collegiate Challenge build!

Southern Hospitality

“That boy is your company. And if he wants to eat up that tablecloth, you let him, you hear?” - Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

I once mortified my mother by asking our brand new minister if he wanted to play cards when he joined us for Sunday dinner. Unbeknownst to me - playing cards was frowned on by some church denominations. I had been learning how to play crazy eights and thought it was a great way to spend 15 minutes. I thought I was being hospitable. Dad quickly asked him if he’d like some iced tea (sweet of course) and we moved on to mom’s fried chicken in record time.

Hospitality is a learned skill and the rules of host and guest differ greatly by region. In Japan you eat all the rice in your bowl and you don’t empty your glass. You decline an offer three times before you can accept. In England the host automatically offers (hot) tea which is understood to include some sort of sweet – even though the sweet is never mentioned. Here in the south you offer iced tea, water, coffee… pretty much any and ALL the liquids available in your home to your guests.

Since 1998 Cabarrus County hosts students who come here with the Collegiate Challenge program. Collegiate Challenge is a Habitat for Humanity program for students who choose to spend their spring break week building a Habitat home. These young adults bear the costs of travel, lodging, and meals to give of their time and talents to help an unknown family get one week closer to home ownership. Four groups of students will participate in Collegiate Challenge this year: Waynesburg University-PA, Stockton University-NJ, Northwestern University-IL, and Gates County High School-NC.

Cabarrus County is a good host and we put our own spin on Collegiate Challenge. We collaborate as a community to provide southern hospitality to our guests from afar. Guests are honored beings who get to use the special soaps and towels or in OUR case – get to sleep in area churches.

Forest Hills UMC, St. James Lutheran, First Presbyterian Concord, and Connect Christian Churches host a team for a week and provide these young volunteers with free spaces to sleep. Additional support comes from churches like McGill Baptist, Mr. Herman Lutheran, and Central UMC and area businesses like Chick-fil-A to provide meals for the hard-working students. Cannon Memorial YMCA graciously opens their locker rooms each afternoon to provide shower facilities. In addition, one of our weekday warriors takes each team out for a night of roller skating and fellowship.

This is Waynesburg University’s sixth year volunteering with Habitat Cabarrus. Waynesburg keeps coming back to us because of our hospitality – they feel “at home” here. Cabarrus County welcomes them with opens doors, kitchens, and hearts. The students feel the love and genuine appreciation we have for them and their efforts - so they return to our community year after year. (The First Presbyterian Concord brownies help too.)

The art of hospitality is so important that it’s mentioned in the bible in several places. Romans 12:13 reminds the early churches about, “Contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.” Hebrews 13:2 says, “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.” Job 31:32 reads, "The alien has not lodged outside, for I have opened my doors to the traveler.”

Thank you Cabarrus County for opening doors to the traveler and for practicing hospitality so well!  If you are interested in providing meals or snacks to our Collegiate Challenge teams please contact Dyana Bostian.